Apologies
by Saphie
Summary: She left and now she's coming back. But is it really that simple?
1. Prologue

Summary: She left him and now she's coming back. But is it really that simple?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or Matt Czuchry, even though I do own a poster of him, so if I offended anybody, I'm sorry. I'm simply writing these because I have so much fun doing it.

This is a new version of my baby, namly my first Gilmore Girls Fic ever. It's gonna follow that storyline so should you be german and have read my Story "Forgiveness" - the german one - you'll realize it's the same story, but I'll change a few or maybe a lot of things, simply because I can.

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**Prolouge**

Her hands were shaking as she packed up her things and closed the bag. She had to do this. She had to do this, she repeated in her head. She had to do this. They had been over for so long, it wasn't right to hold on any longer. He was hurting enough already.

A single tear fell on her cold skin and she couldn't help but ask herself, when it had changed. They were so happy in the beginning, always touching, always smiling. She used to get goosebumps just from feeling his eyes on her. She used to turn into a giggling teenager when he was around, even though they had been together for 4 years. She used to crave his nearness like it was a drug. She used to _love_ him. When had it changed?

A part of her wished, she didn't know the answer. That she could simply deny everything. But she knew that he had changed everything. Without a warning he had reentered her life, throwing it upside down and she had hated him for that. She had hated him for telling her all the things she didn't want to hear. She had hated him with every fiber of her being, because he was right.

Of course she had refused to admit that, but he just hadn't let go. No matter where she was, his words followed her. Two Weeks ago she had finally given in and now her she was, leaving everything behind. Another tear slipped down her face as she slowly slide the engagment ring off her finger. Carefully she placed it on the nighttable beside her and send a last apologizing glance towards the man peacefully sleeping in the bed next to it. It wasn't fair to just leave in the middle of the night, but she didn't knew what else to do. How did you tell your fiance that you're going to run away with your ex-boyfriend? She couldn't. She couldn't sit there and tell him, that she was going to call of the engagment. This was the easy way out. Who knew, maybe the anger would help him get over her faster. "Bye", she whispered and took her bag. "Bye Logan. Thank you for everything."


	2. Chapter 1

So this chapter isn't exactly my best, but writing it wasn't as easy as it should have been, considering I already wrote a similar story, so I'm just gonna post it. Anyway this is chapter 1, I tried my best to clear a few things up, if there's something you didn't get either ask or wait if it's gonna be answered in the next chapter. That brings me to next thing. I'm a lousy writer, because I've got the attention span of toddler, so updates can take a while, it all depends on who long this is gonna stay new and shiny. Now I'm just gonna shut my big mouth and let you read the chapter. Oh and thanks for the tips, I'm gonna change the mistakes.

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Chapter 1

Sighing he turned on the light and put the keys on the table next to him. His head was aching and as soon as his head hit the pillow, he would fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, but that was just the way he wanted it. No time for thinking, no time for remembering. He had done enough remembering today.

He walked through the quiet hallway and opened the door to the bedroom. Another sigh escaped his lips as he fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. He was so tired. Tired of this empty appartment, tired of the empty frames on his desk, tired of the emptyness inside of him. But most of all he was tired of not being able to forget. She had left him, he thought angrily. She had packed up her things and left in the middle of the night. She was gone and yet she seemed to be everywhere he went.

A part of him wished he could hate her. That he could resent her for what she did, for the way she choosed to go, but he couldn't. Because no matter what she did, she would always be his ace.

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She wondered if it was possible to resent memories. After all most of the time they were pretty inconvinient. Those you wanted to forget came back to haunt you, those you wanted to rememeber simply faded away. They were uncontrollable and she hated to loose controll. She hated to watch everything she built up fall apart, she hated, that all she could to was watch, that she couldn't to anything to prevent herself from ruining her life. Yeah, she was pretty sure that it was possible to resent memories.

A tear ran done her face as she heard footsteps. Not today, she prayed. She didn't want to face him today. She just wanted to sit here and wallow over the fact, that today could have been her fourth wedding anniversary. Closing her eyes she tried to prepare herself, but she failed. As soon she opened her eyes again and came face to face with his disgusting smirk she wanted to run again. Run back into the arms she once ran away from, but she stayed. This time she stayed. "Please", she whimpered, but a second later she could feel his arms around her. Roughly he pushed her against the wall behind her and pressed his lips against hers. Resisting the urge to throw up she closed her eyes again and let it happen. Lately that seemed to be all she was doing. Letting it happen.

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Groaning he turned his alarm clock off and pushed himself into a sitting position. Work was calling. Still sleppy he walked over to his closet and pulled out a towel. He needed a hot shower and some coffee to wake him up, before he could deal with the rest of the world. Half past 4 was just too damn early. Blind he searched for the light switch and turned it on. That way he would at least see what he was running in.

Yawning he pushed the bathroom door open and hang the towel over the holder. For a second he considered to simply lay down and go back to sleep, but he figuered he would feel better after the shower. Sighing he undressed himself and turned on the water. "Shit", he swore as the cold water went down on him. "Shit", he repeated and adjusted the water temperature. Well, he was awake now.

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Her hands were shaking as she wiped the blood from her cheek. As gentle as possible she tried to clean the cut, but the tears were already running down her face. At least he was gone now. Another sob escaped her lips as she tried not to think about what would happen, once he came back. She pulled out a band-aid and put it onto the cut, but when she looked into the mirrow she still winced at the reflection. She couldn't believe that the women looking back at her, with traces of blood all over her face, the eyes still red from the crying she had done, was indeed her. Sighing she took a damp towel and whiped her face clean. When she looked at the mirrow again she smiled reliefed. She looked almost normal again.

"Mommy!"

Surprised she spinned around to see her three year old daughter stand in the doorframe. "What's wrong sweetie?", she asked worridly and picked her up. Immediately Sophie arms went around her neck and she snuggeld up to her. Worry swept through her as she felt her daughter hold onto to her like her life depended on it. "

"I'm scared", Sophie whispered. Softly Rory pressed a kiss onto her forehead. I'm scared, too, she answered in her thoughts. I'm scared, too.

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Logan was just on his way to another meeting, when his emergency cell started ringing. Frowing he took it out and accepted the call. "Huntzberger"

"Geez, Logan, you sound more like dad with every day passing", greeted a cheery Honor. "It's nice to talk to you, too", he laughed. He probably should be mad at her for using the emergency number, but it had been a while since he last talked to her, so he decided to just let it slide.

"Of course it's nice to talk to you. After all I haven't talked to you in how long exactly? Oh yeah, 3 month, because Mr Buisnessman was too busy", she complained. "Okay, I get it, I suck at being a brother, sorry, Honor, I promise to do better in the future", he answered, a smile playing on his lips. Over time he had almost forgotten how much he missed her.

"Well, you can make it up to me by meeting me today. I'm in New York for a shopping tour, but I could make some time for you."

"Wow, I really feel the love", he smirked. "Look, I've got to go. How about we meet up at 2 pm at your favorite café?" "Sounds great. Bye little brother!" Before he could say something, she had already canceld the conection, leaving him smiling. Someone really should have warned them, that the peppyness was gonna stick, once she became a cheerleader.

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Throwing the last potato into the pot, she turned around and smiled at her daughter, who was couloring at the table. Her blond locks were bouncing around her face as she concentrated on not drawing over the lines. She couldn't help but chuckle as she saw the top of her tounge dart out. It was something she did as well when she worked on something really important.

She grabbed a chair and sat down next to Sophie. It was completely silent and for a second she pretendet to be just a normal wife, with a normal husband, who was gone on business. A lot of people went away on buisnesstrips. Had she married Logan… but she willed herself to not think about that. It didn't happen and there was no reason to cry over spilled milk.

"Mommy?" Starteld she looked at her daughter. "Yeah?"

"Done", she whispered and pushed the paper towards her. "It looks great, Sweetie", Rory smiled. The picture showed Sophie and her in front of a slightly disproportionate house. "It's me and you and Logan", Sophie explained pointing at the people. Rorys Smile froze as soon as she heard Logans name fall from her daughters lips. She had spent the last 4 years running from her past, but it seemed like the running was going to end now.

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"Sorry, big meeting", Logan apolgized as he sat down. Running a hand trough his already messy hair he let out a deep sigh. The day had gone by way to fast for his liking and at the same time not fast enough. All he wanted to do was crawl into his bed and forget about everything for a while.

"You work too much", Honor stated. "I'm sorry, but it's just 10 minutes, Honor. It's not that big of a deal", he defended himself. After the day he had he really couldn't take a fight. "I didn't mean it like that and you know that. Working yourself into the ground isn't going to solve your problem. It's been more the 4 years, Logan. Sooner or later you're gonna have to deal with the fact, that she left."

As soon as the words left her mouth she could see the pain settel in his eyes. His hands clenched as he looked away to hide the tears, that were glistening in his eyes and she wished she could everything back. She had wanted to meet him to take his mind off of all that stuff, not to make it worse. "I'm sorry", she whispered. "It's okay", Logan answered and turned back, so faced her again. A forced smile was on his lips, but the pain was still visible in his eyes. "I know you're right. It's just so much easier to run than to face the thing you're afraid of."

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"Who's Logan?", Rory asked with a shaky voice. She prayed to god, that it was someone else, that this was all some kind of misunderstandig. "I don't know", Sophie shrugged. Her big blue eyes were smiling innocently as she grabbed a paper and began drawing another picture. "Well, then why would you draw him?"

She was desperatly trying to make sense of what her daughter told her, but that seemed to be immpossible. There was no way Sophie knew about her past, but she wouldn't just randomly pick a name either. "You're always smiling when you talk about him", Sophie said without looking at her. She didn't even seem to notice, how worked up she got about this. "I never talk about a Logan", she said, but she knew that she must have slipped up at some point. Her daughter was just way too smart for her own good. "You talk about him all the time when you're asleep."


End file.
